|
Home / Others
Do You Listen Or Do You Actively Listen?
By:Clare Evans
Listening is one of the most effective communication skills we can learn.
For it to be really effective we must learn to 'actively' listen. Normal everyday listening allows us think about what's being said, form a response, offer a solution or advice or just be waiting for them to stop talking so we can say jump in with our own opinion or perspective.
However, listening is about more than what's being said. What are the words being used? What is the tone of voice, what feelings are being expressed? What is the body language of the speaker?
Active listening is about listening to what the person is saying without jumping to any conclusion or interpreting what they're saying according to your own perceptions. When we listen to someone speak, we do so at a number of levels from the superficial 'only half listening' to the total focus of deeper listening.
Superficial - not really there, thoughts or attention are somewhere else and the interest is low. May make the right 'listening' noises, nod and murmur agreement but the person isn't really listening.
Level 1 - What does this mean to me? We hear the words but are using our own interpretation and judgement to decide what it means to me. There may be a need for more information. Someone listening at this level is likely to impose their own opinions and thoughts on the conversation.
Level 2 - Focused on the other person and not what's going on around them. At this level the listener may be leaning forward, head to one side, making eye contact, shows they are listening. They are aware of the speaker's feelings as well as the words being said. Keeps focus in order to fully understand. Is able to summarise and clarify what's been said.
Level 3 - This is a much deeper level of listening. It's about listening for what's not being said. Using your intuition to truly understand the other person and what they're feeling. The listener is totally focused on the other person and totally unaware of themselves, their thoughts or anything else.
How to improve your listening skills:
Adopt a listening posture, face the person, make eye contact and nod your head or make appropriate sounds or gestures to show you're listening.
When encouraging someone to talk - don't ask 'closed' questions that simply require a 'Yes or No' answer but ask 'open-ended' questions - how, what, when...?
If you catch yourself being distracted or drifting off in your own thoughts - be honest and apologise to the speaker - "Sorry, I was thinking about what you said earlier, could you repeat what you just said". Focus your attention back on the person in front of you.
Try listening not just with your hearing but with all your other senses. What is the person really saying? Do the words match the tone and energy of the speaker? How do they feel?
Summarise what's been said to you to show you understand.
Notice your conversations over the next few days. When are you really listening? What difference do you notice when you change the way you listen.
Copyright 2006: Clare Evans
Digg
del.icio.us
Blink
Stumble
Spurl
Reddit
Netscape
Furl
Article keywords: active listening, listening, communication, understanding, body language
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com
Clare Evans works with busy, stressed individuals and small business owners to help them plan and organise their time more effectively. Contact her now for more details and a free consultation. http://www.clareevans.co.uk
|
|
| Top Others Articles |
- 1). Clay Pot Crafts: Make a Bell for the Porch By : Paul Duxbury
Clay pot crafts are a cute way to make home decorations. In clay pot crafts, clay flower pots can be crafted into a variety of decorative things that appeal to gardeners. Usually, the crafter begins with new pots.
|
|
|
|
|
- 4). Biotechnology And Immortality By : frank vanderlugt
In a very primitive way we are on the road to Immortality.
Within the nucleus of nearly every one of the 100 trillion cells that make up our body is a Computer Program of enormous complexity. This Computer Program is our DNA.
We can now for the first time in Man's history read the message this Computer Program produces.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
- 10). Treadmill Vs Elliptical By : Kathryn ONeill
Should you buy an elliptical trainer or a treadmill? Discover the unique benefits of both elliptical trainers and treadmills to help decide which one is best for you.
|
| New Others Articles |
- 1). Psychic Ability - Fraud Or Gift? By : Ciara McGrath
A psychic has some special powers that ordinary people don’t have. Some psychics are able to predict the future, others can communicate with the recently deceased. Some psychics are telepathic, others have the ability to exorcise ghosts.
The police use psychics to help solve crimes, preferably without the media getting to know! The newspapers would have a field day mocking the police investigator who had to resort to a “fortune teller”
Many people secretly believe that ...
|
- 2). Native Speakers? By : Brenda Townsend Hall
In a recent poll, I asked readers if they thought English language teachers should be native speakers. The result was interesting, as the vote from those with an opinion was close with 48% believing they should be native speakers and 41% saying no. I don’t know what you think about this but I’ve always had mixed feelings.
The first question I would raise with those who believe being a native speaker is an essential prerequisite for an English language teacher is, which nat...
|
- 3). Don't Hesitate To Cry A Tear By : Hallidae Thomason
Growing up, my siblings and I were never aloud to cry even just one tear. No matter how sad, mad or hurt we were, tears were never allowed. We were told that truly tough people didn't shed a tear no matter how bad life got. Tears, our parents said, were for wimps and people who weren't strong enough to handle life.
As I grew into my teenage years, I found it nearly impossible to make it through week after week without crying a single tear. Since I knew my parents would not...
|
- 4). I Heard About A Shark Attack By : Hallidae Thomason
Ever since my children were little, my husband and I have been taking them on beach vacations. So my kids have grown up with an honest love of the ocean. Even my youngest child loves to run by the side of the ocean and to wake up to the sound of the waves. My own childhood was filled with various beach vacations and cruises on the ocean. I have never given safety much of a thought on our family's beach vacations, but last year we heard a story about a shark attack that had ha...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
