|
Home / Personal Development / Goal Setting
Are You Living The Successful Life You Want Or Something Else?
By:John Halderman
Copyright 2006 John Halderman
Have you wondered why you continue with life as usual, even though you are not experiencing enough happiness, and you know you want things to be different?
Your full happiness and satisfaction with life is largely based on the natural expression of yourself.
That's great you say, so why does it seem so hard to set up my life to fully express myself the way I really want?
There are some also very natural and normal aspects of you that tend to block change. We all have the ability to change, as we desire, it's just that we succumb to the 'forces' within us that seem to want things to stay as they are.
A large reason for being stuck in place, suffering from anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and stress is that you do not fully understand what you are up against and how to deal with it.
Here are some of the main factors keeping you where you are.
1. Already A Success
First we need to establish that you actually are completely successful right now whether you feel like it or not. You are always successful at living; your current life experience is clear evidence of this.
Your life experience is the result of your thoughts and actions, and you are actually always thinking and doing something. Even if you call it nothing!
And every thought and action has a result, an outcome that is its evidence.
The question is, are you totally successful at the life you really want?
If not, how can you be?
The key here is to discover new thinking and behaviors that provide the outcomes you want, and replace them for what you are doing now.
You can read about what could produce the results you want, but one of the most effective ways is to model what has proven to work for others.
2. Blocking Change
Another important point to clarify is this; everything that exists is always in motion, constantly changing, and this should include you and I. But we seem to want the opposite, for everything to remain as much that same as possible.
Plus, there is a part of our natural human thought that wants to protect us and keep us safe from any form of displeasure and even disruption. This is what most call the ego, that part of our mind that helps protect our fragile self concept, our feeling, and the picture the ego holds of us.
This ego also comes into play when you are trying to change something about yourself which it senses as uncomfortable because it is unknown or may disrupt the habits already established. The ego doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable.
How can you override, go around or through the ego to make the changes you desire.
With this you will need to take command of your thinking manually yourself. Your ego has had free range up to this point, so expect the possibility some mental and emotional resistance.
Developing strong deeply seated compelling reasons for the changes, you will find the drive to persist as you are taking command from your ego.
When you find examples of what is effective for others you gain a confidence that bolsters your determination. It's feels more definite knowing that what you are attempting at least has worked for others.
3. Once A Body Is In Motion . . .
Science tells us it is likely to keep in motion.
You keep doing the same things you have always done because that's what you know how to do.
Your thought patterns, how you perceive things, and how you interpret things is all the product of years of gradual accumulation, one piece building upon another.
All that you have accumulated in your mind from your experiences is what you know, and it's the basis of all your thought and action.
So it's easy to see how you will likely keep operating from the same basis as you always have, because that's what you know and what you are mentally and emotionally comfortable with.
And yes, even if you really want some things to be different, your mind will automatically keep using your history to shape your future.
It's a lot like a mile long train barreling down the tracks at 60 miles an hour. Once it's moving it's hard to stop and it's staying on the track that's already been laid!
You will need to discover and implement new habits that better serve your desired outcomes. The tough part of this is that you will tend to keep filtering everything through your existing perceptions. This makes it tough to figure out exactly what to do when it includes things you are not familiar and experienced with.
A powerful method for determining exactly what to do is to copy people who are already successful. This way you are not stuck trying to figure it all out on your own, using only the experience and 'tools' you have accumulated.
4. Repeating Habits
Everything you think and do is based on habit, you can label it good or bad, but it is habitual.
If you do nothing to these self-perpetuating habits that you have accumulated, they will just keep on going and get stronger and stronger.
Habits are just a series of thoughts and actions that are tied together and automatically played like a computer program triggered by specific related circumstance.
It is normal for most people to allow them to run automatically, life would be far more complex if we always made new decisions each time something came up.
However, we usually have allowed many things to habitually occur that we are not even aware of, or think we can change.
Here the big question becomes what should you change to, when you want something different than what you now experience?
Further, you may question the validity of what you think up for new habits, as to whether they are worth your efforts and will reveal the results you want.
The example of others is the most straightforward way to find actions that have desirable results. This is how you learned most of your current thinking and behavior as you have developed up to this point. You just haven't consciously chosen much of it.
You can determine what to actually do by looking at the desirable evidence in the life of someone successful. And now make the conscious choice about what you want in your life.
OK, so you have some ideas about the life you want to live, that's usually the easy part.
It's coming up with the new effective thinking and behavior that leads to the results you want that can be tricky. Particularly when all your current habits with your collected body of knowledge and experience supports what you now have, not what you want.
It will take some determination at first to take command of your thinking from your ego as it wants to keep the status quo and is protective of your comfort.
Soften your doubts and fears about change by finding proven thinking, habits and success traits.
Learning from the study of successful people supports your change efforts in a few ways:
· You will have more confidence and determination in pursuing something that you've seen work.
· You are not relying only on your existing body of knowledge and experience to create something new.
· Modeling others is the most natural learning method your brain already possesses.
· You now can choose what to model based on specific outcomes.
· Discover things you may not have even thought of yet.
· Fast track your growth progresses.
· Less fear knowing others can and have already done it.
· Quicker to decide and take action on something with proven results.
· Less time wasted on indecisiveness and confusion.
· What to visualize for yourself.
· Increase your self-awareness and motivation.
· Improve your positive attitude and self-confidence.
Think, what if the auto manufacturers had to re-invent the wheel with each year's new cars?
Why do this with your life, when you can use what others have already discovered and proven!
Existing successful people are your greatest resource for what you can and should be doing on order to live the success you desire.
Digg
del.icio.us
Blink
Stumble
Spurl
Reddit
Netscape
Furl
Article keywords: Successful, happiness, anxiety, stress, depression, low self esteem, success, positive attitude, emotional, determination, habit, conscious, confidence, visualize, ego, self confidence, self awareness, doubts, fears, satisfaction, behavior, model, change
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com
John Halderman writes on effective methods for personal growth. Smash stress, anxiety, & depression -build self-esteem, self-confidence, motivation, change habits and experience happiness with effective self-improvement. Model known success traits.
www.designalifesystem.com/modelsuccess.html
|
|
| Top Goal Setting Articles |
|
|
|
|
- 3). INDIVIDUALIZED POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS FOR IMPROVING SELF-ESTEEM By : Dr Harry Henshaw
Positive self-esteem is very important if not crucial to our happiness and well being as a human being. Having positive self-esteem can make the difference in that which we take on in life, in that which we go about achieving and creating. Having positive self- esteem also allows us to have healthy and joyous relationships with others, to experience true intimacy.
|
|
|
- 5). Personal Development & Success - "Creating the Motivation You Need" By : Jeffrey Miller
One of the most common beliefs that can prevent someone from achieving the success being sought is that "action only happens through motivation" - that, one must wait around for the so-called "feeling to move me" before anything will be accomplished. But, once we understand how we operate, once we discover the secret...
|
- 6). Blast Through Barriers to your Goals By : Kimberly Dawn Wells
One of the reasons we do not face our goals is because when we are faced with an unexpected barrier that we're unsure how to deal with, we shut down. We become discouraged, we start making excuses, and we allow ourselves to back off of our original plan. While this is a human and natural tendency, it's not conducive to success.
An important step that you can take to avoid this barrier blunder is that of carefully planning your goal to include backup plans for all those little "what ifs.
|
- 7). How to be the Most Memorable Person at Networking Events By : Charles Burke
Most of the people I hear from hate networking. They go only because they know they "should," but it's like pulling teeth for them.
If you've experienced the usual clammy grip of fear when it's your time to introduce yourself, the following may help you feel more at home, make deeper, more lasting impressions, and attract voluntary referrals from many of the other attendees.
|
- 8). How To Stop Living Your Life On Autopilot By : GirlShrink
If you find yourself doing the same routine day after day, never remembering what you did the day before, having nothing to look forward to, living your life - but never enjoying it or anything in it...you are probably living your life and the relationships in it on autopilot.
The really devastating part about living life on autopilot, especially when it comes to your relationships, is that you don't even know that you're doing it half the time.
|
- 9). Focus On Your Goals Without Envying Others By : John Watson
Many of us waste too much time envying others instead of getting on with our own goals and dreams. This is stupid to put it mildly.
For a start, we would probably not envy others if we knew what their lives were really like.
Many young men envied and still envy Evis Presley but who wants to die sad, disillusioned and divorced at the age of 42?
Billy Connolly, the great Scottish comedian who now lives in California, tells an amusing story about misguided envy:
In World War I two men were squatting side by side over the only toilet available.
|
- 10). Energy Boosters By : Steve Gillman
I needed to learn about energy boosters. Fatigue and a lack of energy have been problems for all my life. In an effort to find out why, I've asked doctors, read books, and finally decided that some questions just won't be answered in my lifetime.
Fortunately, I've also learned that even without discovering the root causes of my tiredness, there are things I can do to alleviate it.
|
| New Goal Setting Articles |
- 1). Values - Your Own Personal Guidance System - Part 1 By : Garry Zancanaro
If your goals are not compatible with your values and overall philosophy on life, you are likely to or spend a lot of time going backwards and forwards, or around in circles, achieving little. You are also likely to create inner conflict and imbalance, and to become frustrated and disillusioned with the whole idea of setting goals.
|
- 2). 10 Ways to Actually Achieve the Goals You Set By : Terence Young
Goals. You know you have them. Everyone has areas in his or her life that they would like to change. Whether your goals are written neatly in bound journals or just drifting around in your head, you can achieve those goals. Just how, though, can you make them a reality?
|
- 3). Plan for Success is the Way to Success By : Mitch Johnson
One of the things to keep yourself motivated is giving yourself a reward once your works are accomplished. Once you are well with it, it is time to make a plan to the glory. In this article you will learn some advantage on how to make yourself a plan.
|
|
|
- 5). How to Manifest Reality By : Jimmy Roos
AutoResponder: how-to-manifest-reality@i3i.info
So you want to know how to manifest reality, right? Actually you're already doing it. You're creating reality every second of every minute of every hour of every day. But I suspect you don't like what you are creating.
And you know why? Its because you're creating by default. What do I mean by that. What I mean is this.
|
- 6). How Do I Manifest My Desires By : Jimmy Roos
AutoResponder: how-do-i-manifest@i3i.info
If you are asking the question how do I manifest, then read this. Learning to manifest your desires is similar to learning
to swim.
So how is swimming similar to manifesting?
Both manifesting and swimming requires total trust, i.e. letting go. In the case of manifesting, you need to let go
of your need to control the outcome and trust that you shall receive that which you seek.
|
- 7). The Promised Land By : Jimmy Roos
When the Israelites heard that God was going to take them to the promised land they were excited as I'm sure you would be too. The road to the promised land however turned out not to be, what they expected. They expected to be taken there speedily and in comfort, but instead the road took them through the desert and they endured all kinds of hardships.
|
- 8). Desire, Fuel for success: How to Keep it Alive and Burning Strong By : Jimmy Roos
What is it that makes one man go where others don't dare tread? And that keeps him going even when the odds seem so insurmountable? When others around him expect the worst, and obstacle upon obstacle, cause him to wonder if perhaps, just perhaps, everybody might be right and he may be crazy?
That my friend is what is called DESIRE! Desire is one of the strongest emotions, and one of the greatest forces man has ever known.
|
- 9). You Have a Gift, Release It By : Jimmy Roos
Every person on this earth has a special gift. The gifts may not all be equal but they are all special. What is your gift?
It may be singing, acting or craftsmanship. Or you may have an eye for detail, allowing you to turn an ordinary space into a wonderful haven, where people would want to spend their time.
It's never too late to make a change and find a path that will allow you to be true to yourself.
|
- 10). Anything is Possible By : Jimmy Roos
The other day I was reading a very interesting article concerning a shark attack that occurred way back in 1916. It played off along the North East coast of the U.S. and concerned a great white shark, that had been had been terrorizing the New Jersey beaches.
Now everybody knows and accepts that a shark is a creature of the sea and needs salty water to survive.
|
|
|
