|
Home / Humor
Education enlarges us.
By:Malcolm James Pugh
Our education enlarges us. In days of old, when life was bold, And schools owned fields and land, We played serene, acted out our dreams, With nothing dangerous being banned, Now we roll in late, grossly overweight, If we even deign to show our faces, And the clipboard man with his cardboard plan, Puts us through our non sunburned paces, Now it appears all these stark fears, And dread of falling and disaster, Sold off our fields, while they but kneeled, To a politically correct Grand Master, So though obese, we are at peace, Though consuming rubbish we can smile, Though weighed down we seldom frown Because were much safer by a mile. What price competition, breeding attrition, What use excellence when some must lose, Theres no Einstein and no Frankenstein Theres just fat drones from which to choose, Successive generations of a nation, Robbed of the will to be fit and bright, Brainwashed by day, to their teachers way, Mentally chained to the TV all night, We were naughty and lived past forty, And still have our health and mind, For we were schooled to different rules, That seemed cruel but were kind, Its not obscene to have a dream, Not appalling to aspire to winning, In the past someone came last, But the victor was not sinning, And whatever face won the race, Whatever hand held academic prizes, The losers were slim, and used the gym, Were not mothball wrapped oversizes, Everyone gained from competitive games, From trying to be part of an elite, You raised your sights, you saw the light, Started thinking on your own feet. Now mediocrity is the place to be, No failure and no success, No one grows and no one knows, And no one could care less, Where there was intellect, read neglect, Where there was exercise read sloth, Where there was ingenuity read apathy, Assuming you read or write or both, What price a system that has missed them, Painting failure as success as it is turning, Where once education was our salvation Now we just have dumbed down learning, Whilst exercise brightened our eyes, And tuition filtered through our heads, Where discipline and rules gave us tools, And stirred us from all our beds, Their eyes are leaden with whats fed them, By the programmes and adverts 24/7, That lead them obese to an early feast, And a slow hell instead of heaven. You cant subscribe to its safe inside, Without losing out on the adventure, You cant restrict all lifes conflicts, Cant create things out of censure, You cant repeal what people feel, Cant tell them that you know best Cant cast aside all exercise, Cant dispel the need for tests, For they will divine, given time, And their innate common sense, You cant form quality from equality, Or lead whilst sitting on the fence. Its so plain to see, to you and me, Education left to artifice and device, Will not turn out scribes and lions, It will merely churn out mice.
Digg
del.icio.us
Blink
Stumble
Spurl
Reddit
Netscape
Furl
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com
Ex Civil Engineer and Systems Programmer. Ex Grammar School. 52 this July.
|
|
| Top Humor Articles |
|
|
- 2). Sun Will Only Burn For 5 Billion More Years; Humans Express Concern By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
We are often reminded that the sun will only shine in a way that can support life way out here on the earth for only about another five billion years. Sensing the eventuality of the cataclysm, we’re easily inclined to express our concern, along with our sympathetic distress for those far-off folks who will be standing on the earth when old Father Sol begins to turn down the heat.
|
|
|
|
|
- 5). Ken Lay Explains Behavior With Poem From Childhood: "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep." By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
Ken Lay, the famously charming Texan from dirt-poor beginnings, who rose to be the toast of Houston before Enron, the company he founded, became toast, finally took the stand this week and, as expected, performed in his winning manner.
He based his defense for the debacle that occurred under his chairmanship on a poem that he maintains has shaped his behavior since his mother first read it to him when he was just wee high to an oil pump.
|
- 6). Inner Peace By : Unknown
By following the simple advice heard on The Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.Dr.Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace
|
- 7). Hockey Summer Season; Will Be Played On Roller Skates By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
Professional hockey associations, long mournful of the unfortunately seasonal nature of their game, have decided to give the boys of summer a run for their money.
To effect the balmy transformation, the teams will transform their footwear from ice skates to roller skates.
The players are not entirely comfortable with the proposal.
One star expressed concern, saying, “I’m really good on ice skates, but I never even put on a pair of roller skates.
|
- 8). Just Say No To Sex By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
(Extended spoof, presented In 10 installments of 4 pages each. This is the second installment; previous ones are included on this site, in case you miss one.)
"They all seem impressively genuine in their intentions," Dr. Coburn replied. "As young people are prone to do, they actually want to do their part to help save the world – and now they see a practical way to proceed.
|
|
|
|
|
| New Humor Articles |
- 1). Are You Spreading Humor By : David Hill
My first thought upon seeing the subject, "Are you sharing humor?" was that it referred to comics or orators. After giving some thought to the subject I began to see that each one of us, at sometime or other, should share our humor.
|
- 2). The Party Store By : Matt Allen
Every now and then I like to frequent our local liquor store to stock my bar. Our neighborhood store is nothing special, but has what I need when I need it. I have never paid a whole lot of attention to the sign as I entered the establishment. The sign clearly states that not only do they sell beer and wine, they also sell party supplies. Great. You never know when a party may break out and having a store with party supplies at your disposal is nothing but a posititve thing.
|
- 3). An Efficient Commute By : Matt Allen
This morning, as usual, I was pressed for time. I had to be to my "9 to 5" especially early and I woke up late. Instead of rushing around more than I already had been, I thought I would take the time to finish my "getting ready for work rituals" in the car. After all, I have seen countless others in my rearview mirror and beside me in their cars do the same, so why can't I?
As I grabbed my things, I raced out to the car and started on the 32-minute commute to work.
|
- 4). Theory Of Evolution Challenged By French Chef; Cites Role Of Food And Wine By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
While The Theory of Evolution has received numerous challenges since Darwin proposed it, none seems to have taken the scientific community with such devastating surprise as the theory recently proposed by a French Chef from Bordeaux.
The Chef, Andre Dumier, who operates a One Star Michelin restaurant just outside the city of Bordeaux, advanced the theory after contemplating what he considers the first requirement in the various stages of evolution – the availability of food.
|
- 5). Dick Cheney Enrolls At Dale Carnegie; Updates Curriculum By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
Vice President Cheney, upon his return from a visit to former Soviet Bloc nations, during which he criticized Russian President Putin in unusually direct, if correct, terms, found himself suffering from shortness of breath. Hesitant about consulting a doctor immediately, he performed a self-diagnosis and realized that his condition was due primarily to putting his foot in his mouth with alarming frequency.
|
- 6). Movie Stars As Sources Of Wisdom By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
Why do many people look to movie stars for answers to some of life's most challenging questions?
While we have great respect for the art of acting, as explicated from Stanislavsky to Strasberg, the latter of whom we knew well and were fond of, we have never understood how the usual snippets who decide to become actors ascend in the minds of the public.
|
- 7). Democrats Search For Platform; Find It In FDR's Basement By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
The Democratic Party, sensing electoral weakness in the war-ravaged Republican Party, began an intensive search for a platform that might lead to a rejuvenation of their own habitually unfocused and widely unattractive party.
Apparently, they have finally grown alert to the inadequate support provided by the random planking that has been delivered to them by various political strategists – usually, they now see, not deeply resonating and indubitably ethical ideas, but hardly more than sound bytes based on evanescent hot topics.
|
- 8). Oil Exploration Update: U. S. To Play Catch-Up With Cuba By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
Startlingly enough, it looks as if the time will soon arrive when the USA will have to play catch-up with Cuba in oil exploration. The diminutive and destitute communist enclave that serves as Fidel Castro’s personal cigar plantation now realizes that it has enough oil reserves under its coastal waters to prop up its no-go economy for decades and, incapable.
|
|
|
- 10). Come Out With Your Checkbook Open By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
Joey, daring the spotlights that were scanning the warehouse in which he was holed up, took a quick look out the window at the crowd below, and shouted, “Never, you dirty, rotten bill collectors!” Then he ducked back to the haven beneath the sill.
He recently got more into debt than usual – in fact, he found himself surrounded by it – and he was having a restless dream about the multitude of bill collectors who were haunting his mind.
|
|
|