|
Home / Relationships / Sexuality
Why Am I Not Interested In Sex?
By:GirlShrink
There is a frightening trend going on in many of the marriages and serious relationships of today -- no sex. I know you've heard all the clichés. Especially the one about couples not having sex after they get married. But really...what they should say is that the sex can truly diminish after having children and being consumed with the stressors of raising them, feeding them, and schooling them!
I mean who really has the energy or the gumption to look sexy, feel sexy, and better yet have sex! Children are a lot of work. Hey, life is a lot of work. Is this why our mothers were so irritable when we were little?
Well, if you want to live in reality - eventually you have to address this lack-of-sex subject in your marriage. Married folks have sex, and should enjoy it, and hopefully desire it on at least a semi-regular basis. We need it.
So why are so many of us not handling this subject like we would our finances, our careers, our children? Why are we avoiding it? Well, because even in today’s modern society, sex is still a very uncomfortable subject for us to discuss with our children, our friends, and our spouses.
It’s strange isn’t it? We love a good romance novel, or romantic comedy movie. So why aren’t we talking? Well, in many cases we feel that we are the source of the problem, but we are confused or frightened to admit it and deal with it.
If this sounds like you and your marriage – there may be a few concrete ways you can address what has to be a very difficult and painful topic for you and your spouse. Let’s get back to intimacy.
First - if you have a diminished desire for sex, go see your physician and check yourself out. Hormone levels fluctuate. Having children can throw you out of wack. Make sure it isn't a physical problem.
Also, there are some women who have always experienced uncomfortable or even painful sex during intercourse but never addressed it. Perhaps you think that certain positions are just not meant for you, but it may be that you have a physical problem that has a solution. Simply stated - if you can't get aroused or are uncomfortable, even after a round of foreplay, there may be something physical going on. Check it out with your gynecologist.
Second - If you check out okay, and there is nothing physically wrong with your partner, then you can assume that the problem is probably something mental/emotional in nature.
Are you tired? Mentally tired? Tired of him? Is he still attractive to you or is he just a warm body? Do you feel unattractive? Do you think he feels you are unattractive? Have either of you cheated in the past - and know about it? Is sex boring--A ritualistic rut?
It's a huge myth that sex is not an important part of a relationship. Physical intimacy with your partner is very important for the health of your relationship.
If you are dating, you SHOULD be sexually attracted to the person. If you are not, you may face serious problems in the future.:)
If you are married, sex may not feel like it did the first time with him, but it should be satisfying and desired by both of you. Low feelings of desire?
1. Pinpoint your sources of stress. Write them down. Number them. Get a list. What is causing you the most stress? Finances? Intimacy? Children? Illness? Family?
2. Now sort them in their order of importance. The last item on the list you should be able to eliminate this week. For example, if your kids are stressing you out. Hire a babysitter; go out on a date with your mate, and at the end of the evening try to initiate intimacy.
3. Continue to work on whittling down your list while you keep up with your
date nights etc.
4. Find things to reduce your overall stress levels. Activities such as reading a book, yoga, walking/running, taking up an old hobby, dancing to your favorite music on your Ipod, etc.
Reducing your overall stress is a great way to promote relaxation during times of intimacy. Sometimes we put great amounts of “performance pressure” on ourselves and inadvertently sabotage our performance. Plus – happy people have more sex! Well, I’m not sure about that statistically – but it makes sense right?
Digg
del.icio.us
Blink
Stumble
Spurl
Reddit
Netscape
Furl
Article keywords: relationships, relationship, sex, partners, communication, reduce stress
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com
Lisa Angelettie, "GirlShrink" is a psychotherapist, relationship coach, author, and online advice authority. Visit her at www.GirlShrink.com and learn about her exciting Relationship 911! Program - www.girlshrink.com/911intro.html
You can also grab the FREE report "3 Simple Ways to Save Your Relationship from Sabotage!" instantly when you go to: www.girlshrink.com/better_choices.html”>www.girlshrink.com/better_choices.html
© GirlShrink Inc. The author grants reprint permission to opt-in publications and websites so long as the copyright and by-line are included intact and the article is not used in spam. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.
|
|
| Top Sexuality Articles |
- 1). The Sexual Body Feelings and Erogenous Zones of Men By : Knut Holt
There is a widespread misunderstanding by many women, and surprisingly also by many men that boys and men only have sexual feelings in their penis, or even only in their penis head. The reason why many men also carry this misconception is probably that boys often are educated to suppress corporeal sensations and to be hard.
Many erogenous zones in men and boys are best activated when the body is relaxed, and the zones are stimulated in a gentle manner.
|
- 2). Use of Sex Toy Not Safe While Driving By : Regina Sheridan
Have you seen the ad for the sex toy called Auto Suck? It goes like this:
"Enjoy your drive with the ideal mate! Plugs into any car or truck lighter for some hot roadway action. Make sure to keep one hand on the wheel and one eye on the road as the auto suck makes that long commute or road trip much more bearable. *Warning: this unit may cause ejaculation.
|
- 3). Male Sexual Health - Increase Your Sex Drive Naturally With These Foods and Supplements By : Sacha Tarkovsky
When you are tired and stressed it take its toll on your body and one of the first things to suffer is sexual health.
Here we will outline not only some natural supplements for male sexual health, but also the natural foods you can eat to make you feel healthier, happier and more sexual.
Your overall health affects sexual wellbeing!
When looking at male sexual health it is not just a question of taking a few supplements and sex drive recovers.
|
|
|
- 5). Male Ejaculation -The Chinese Sexual Secret of Internal Male Ejaculation By : Sacha Tarkovsky
To properly understand this article and the reasons (and preparation) for the Chinese sexual secret of internal male ejaculation.
Ejaculation needs no discussion, except that the Taoists believed (and called it) it was a small death, and disbursed, rather than conserved, sexual and vital energy. Instead, they proposed a technique known as internal ejaculation, whereby the seminal fluid and actual sperm were returned to the body, re-absorbed as it were.
|
- 6). Narcissists, Sex and Fidelity By : Sam Vaknin
Question:
Are narcissists mostly hyperactive or hypoactive sexually and to what extent are they likely to be unfaithful in marriage?
Answer:
Broadly speaking, there are two types of narcissists, loosely corresponding to the two categories mentioned in the question.
Sex for the narcissist is an instrument designed to increase the number of Sources of Narcissistic Supply.
|
- 7). The Natural Roots of Sexuality By : Sam Vaknin
Recent studies in animal sexuality serve to dispel two common myths: that sex is exclusively about reproduction and that homosexuality is an unnatural sexual preference. It now appears that sex is also about recreation as it frequently occurs out of the mating season. And same-sex copulation and bonding are common in hundreds of species, from bonobo apes to gulls.
|
- 8). Happy women achieve orgasm By : Anastasia Boico
Many women who rarely or even never achieve orgasm even do not try to cope with their problem thinking that all their efforts to improve their sex life will be useless. But these women do not know what sad complications their being sexually unsatisfied can cause.
Absence of orgasm affects nervous system as well as female organism as a whole. After an intercourse which did not end with orgasm a woman often complains about nervous excitement, fatigue or depression.
|
- 9). SEX, Self esteem, and ME ! By : Dorothy
Hmmm, my thoughts tonight will definitely be different from most of my blogs. I have touched on so many emotions in the past and I am still feeling the need to share yet another. I have spoken on women's issues mainly, yet trying to keep men on a fair plain, mainly due to the facts and studies that more women experience self-esteem issues and jealousy monsters than men.
|
- 10). On the Incest Taboo By : Sam Vaknin
"...An experience with an adult may seem merely a curious and pointless game, or it may be a hideous trauma leaving lifelong psychic scars. In many cases the reaction of parents and society determines the child's interpretation of the event. What would have been a trivial and soon-forgotten act becomes traumatic if the mother cries, the father rages, and the police interrogate the child.
|
| New Sexuality Articles |
- 1). Are You Good? How Hot Are You In the Sack? By : Jenna Stevenson
Everyone at some point has probably wondered if they are any good in bed, or if there is something that they could be doing better. Sex is something that many people assume will come naturally to them, and for some people it does, but for other people they are always wondering if there is something that they could do to "be better" in the sack.
|
|
|
- 3). Bridal Lingerie By : Bonnie Ray
Tips and suggestions about the lingerie you will choose for your wedding and wedding night.
|
- 4). free hentai games By : tima
Hentai games are a form of artistic pornography in Japan that give free play to fantasy and imagination. It involves themes and aspects that are difficult to portray in other forms of representation.
The word “hentai” means “pervert” in Japanese. The use of cartoon characters to portray sexual fantasies often blurs the boundaries between adult and regular mainstream content.
|
- 5). Different approaches to sexual experience By : Robert Johanssen
Ever notice how men talk about 'having sex' while women talk about 'making love?' That kind of hits the nail on the head when it comes to how men and women approach sex. Men are pretty direct when it comes to sex -- they are arounsed easily, usually by visual stimulation, what they see. Women are much more complex, and require a more complicated experience to become aroused and take longer.
|
- 6). 7 Sex Tips for Parents By : Sarah Brindisi
Sex life? What sex life? You’re a parent and life is so busy that you barely have time to think about your own needs, let alone do anything about meeting them. It can seem like your own needs don’t matter, it’s the children that have top priority and you have to do whatever it takes to look after them. Don’t be fooled, your needs are important and neglecting them isn’t good for anyone, not you, not your partner and definitely not your children.
|
- 7). Major Component Of Female And Male Sexual Health And Good Libido By : Amporn Saechin
Androgens, such as testosterone, are a major component of female and male sexual health and good libido. Female sexual health can be temporarily improved using androgens such as testosterone or DHEA. You write that Viagra legitimized male sexuality not only as conversation material but as a valid health-care issue. There is, therefore, a significant issue regarding the sexual health of female partners of men who have sex with men (MSMs).
|
- 8). Hentai Cartoons – Closer to reality? By : tima
The word “hentai” in Japanese denotes “aberration” and is commonly used to refer to cartoons and animations that portray graphic adult behavior. It is also used to refer to pornographic animation works.
Sketches dealing with sex can be found in Japan going back several centuries. One such sketch shows a naked girl with an octopus around her. The word “H” deriving from “etchi” is said to be used in Japan to refer to any explicit/sexual content or product.
|
- 9). Why Am I Not Interested In Sex? By : GirlShrink
There is a frightening trend going on in many of the marriages and serious relationships of today -- no sex. I know you've heard all the clichés. Especially the one about couples not having sex after they get married. But really...what they should say is that the sex can truly diminish after having children and being consumed with the stressors of raising them, feeding them, and schooling them!
I mean who really has the energy or the gumption to look sexy, feel sexy, and better yet have sex! Children are a lot of work.
|
- 10). Renai Games – Romance and Sex in Virtual Reality By : tima
Renai which means ‘romantic game’ is an interactive computer game based on themes of love and sex. The protagonist could be a male or female, and various controls allow manipulation of the 3D environment and the characters. These are popularly called dating sims or visual novels.
A visual novel presents pictures with text at the bottom and deals with romantic themes.
|
|
|
