|
Home / Technology
New Year New Love
By:Dr. Dorree Lynn
January tends to be an awful month. For many individuals loneliness increases, and they yearn to be brought to life by the passion of romance. This passionate romantic love is not just a form of love, it is an entire psychological package consisting of a combination of beliefs, ideals, attitudes and expectations. Passionate, romantic love is the single greatest energy system in a new relationship. It can drive us wild, “crazy” out of our heads. In the short run, sex, transcendence, wholeness and ecstasy seem like the only important values in life. In the long run, we are unaware of how contradictory ideas coexist in our unconscious minds and impact our reactions and behavior. We have automatic assumptions about who the other person is and what they are about. Blinded by love, we are over come with feelings and ignore warning signs, obvious though they may be.
Even unrealized fantasy romantic love doesn't mean just loving someone; it means we are “in love” and that somehow being connected to this other human being will forever eliminate our life's sorrows. Our unconscious belief is that our lover or spouse will always provide us with this feeling of intensity and safety.
When we are not “in love,” we spend much of our time with a deep sense of loneliness and frustration over our inability to make genuinely loving and committed relationships. Usually we blame others for “not being the right one” or for failing us in some essential way. It takes a surprise jolt or some therapy to acknowledge that perhaps we are the ones who have to change. It is our own attitudes and the expectations we place on other people and on relationships that need fixing.
When a man and a woman first fall in love, they rarely understand that they may be as different as two species, each seeking some lost piece of themselves. For many men it is their lost feminine side---feelings of relatedness, community, a flowing of souls. They start off seeking their unlived feminine side through a particular woman and magically believe she will stay just the way she seems. Many women, who in spite of themselves idealize masculine values, feel inferior if they aren't sufficiently logical, rational, linear thinkers. They feel inferior and have poor self esteem because they intuit or feel what is going on, but can't verbalize it precisely.
These women spend much of their energy in efforts to make a loving relationship with a man and to deal with his seemingly incomprehensible feelings, ideas and reactions. At the same time, he is often befuddled, by the flux and flow of her endless supply of emotions. It's almost as if they are speaking two different languages: She: one of romance. He: one of functionality and “fix the problem please.” Sometimes the roles are reversed and she can be the practical pragmatic one, seeking to be swept off her feet.
When two people are in this wonderfully romantic phase, the urge to merge outshines all potential problems. Being “in love” seems to heal all wounds.
Ah, but what happens when the veils are lifted and time and the tasks of ordinary life begin to intrude? Somehow, the very qualities that once seemed “perfect” are now pains barely endured. In this phase, a couple has the opportunity to develop a real, committed working relationship, or split. Real, long lasting love and being “in love” are experiences that are worlds apart.
During this New Year, whether you are alone or already in a relationship, short term or long, think about what it will take for you to heal your own wounds and/or to learn from your partner in order to become whole. This is a very difficult process, requiring much effort. This New Year, are you ready to make the effort?
Life is too hard to do alone,
Dr. D.
Dorree Lynn, PH.D.
About the Author
Dr. Dorree Lynn is co-founder of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Psychotherapy and a practicing clinician in New York and Washington, DC. Dr. Lynn served on the executive board of the American Academy of Psychotherapists and she is on the editorial board of their publication, Voices. She is also a regular columnist for the Washington, DC newspaper, The Georgetowner. Dr. Lynn is a noted speaker and well known on the lecture circuit.
Digg
del.icio.us
Blink
Stumble
Spurl
Reddit
Netscape
Furl
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com
|
|
| Top Technology Articles |
- 1). Sound Proofing Techniques By : Barney Garcia
Are you frequently disturbed by different sounds entering your room while you are working or sleeping? It is then time for you to take a look into the different sound proofing techniques.
|
- 2). The Market for Used Business Phone System Equipment By : Kingston Amadan
Business phone systems and the companies who sell them exist in a world all their own. The competition is stiff, with several different retailers and wholesalers carrying the same brands. The competition for used and refurbished business phones and business phone systems is even fiercer, as many companies are searching for equipment that can be used to expand their current system.
|
|
|
- 4). Elevator Action By : James Monahan
Elevators are enclosure or platforms that are operated by cables, motors and other equipment or accessories enabling the vertical shaft to go up and down, and transport people, freight or both.
|
|
|
- 6). Pagers - How Do They Work? By : Trevor Dumbleton
How do those beeping things work that people carry around on their belts? There are several types of pagers but, basically, it’s all done by good, old- fashioned radio waves. Someone sends you a text message with a touch-tone phone – or it can also be sent by email – and the message is forwarded to the thing on your belt, which then emits a beep or vibration to tell you you’ve got a message.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| New Technology Articles |
- 1). Which Online Gaming Console Is The Best? By : Gregg Hall
Computers used to be the only way to access the internet and game online, now you can hook up most gaming consoles. Access to other gamers through the internet has brought gaming to another level, making competition for the best gaming console fierce.
|
|
|
- 3). HDTV Introduction By : DavidZ
Are you looking to buy a HDTV? Take a look at our guide to find out what HDTV is about.
1. What does HDTV stand for?
High Definition Television
2. What is HTDV?
It is a new technology and way of filming that has a higher bit depth resolution and gives you a sense or realism while watching the program. Sports are one of the leading industries in high definition programming.
|
- 4). Perform Conference Calls Without Having Prior Reservations By : Amporn Saechin
Other teleconferencing services allow subscribers to perform conference calls without having prior reservations. If you're looking for conference bridgeline services or conference recording services, I highly recommend e-Teleconferencing. Unlike other automated teleconferencing services, ReadyConference gives you a permanent dial-in number and passcode you can use any time, from anywhere - 24/7.
|
- 5). Amazing Communications By : Analeese Burnabaker
As history has progressed and technology has continued to advance, life has become full of more and more good things. Without a doubt, one of the best things that our society has gained from the advances of technology is communications.
Consider for a few moments all of the amazing forms of communications that have made your life easier and more full.
|
- 6). A Look At Cordless Phones By : Angel Estrella
Cordless phones, also known as portable telephones, use a wireless handset in order to communicate with the phone’s base, which is connected to a telephone landline. In order for cordless phones to function properly, they must be used within a specified proximity to the base. Most individuals find that they can use their cordless phones throughout the house or in the yard without interruption.
|
- 7). Send Greetings For Better Communication By : CD Mohatta
Greetings are probably as old as the civilization. People always greet each other whenever they meet or talk. A good morning, hello, how are you, how are things at your end, etc are some of the common ways to begin the conversation. A greeting in everyday life connects us better with another person. One generally does not immediately come to the subject matter without a greeting in almost all meetings.
|
- 8). Pagers - How Do They Work? By : Trevor Dumbleton
How do those beeping things work that people carry around on their belts? There are several types of pagers but, basically, it’s all done by good, old- fashioned radio waves. Someone sends you a text message with a touch-tone phone – or it can also be sent by email – and the message is forwarded to the thing on your belt, which then emits a beep or vibration to tell you you’ve got a message.
|
- 9). Palm Treo: Getting Started With Your New Treo Smartphone By : Christopher Meinck
Copyright 2006 Christopher Meinck
Getting Started With a Palm Treo Smartphone
For many, adding a Palm Treo smartphone to their life is an exciting time. Most are coming from a traditional cellphone and the capabilities of a smartphone never seize to amaze. The Palm Treo features a large color LCD screen, full keyboard and software for syncing your personal data with your PC or Mac.
|
- 10). Cheap Prepaid Calling Card - Making The Work For You By : Melissa Wayan
So most prepaid calling cards are cheap prepaid calling cards. I mean when you think about it, the calling cards really are significantly cheaper than the cost of calling from a landline. My parents pay around 20 cents a minute to call me and I have found calling cards from the United States to Venezuela for a low at 3 cents a minute. I found most of these online.
|
|
|
