Know How To Prevent Premature Ejaculation

By:Simon Chan

Bobby Kapur, a 27-year-old investment analyst whose high-pressure job puts him under extreme stress, broke up with girlfriend Susan because of his premature ejaculation problem, and he admits he is afraid to get into another relationship because he is clueless about how to prevent premature ejaculation.

Mental stress and emotional trauma often contribute to premature ejaculation, though certain physical factors like prostate gland ailments and urinary tract infections are also sometimes involved. However, as sexual therapist Tamara Hyrapiet says, "Performance anxiety and stress are the dominant causes for premature ejaculation, so the first thing I teach my clients is how to relax during a sexual encounter."

Premature ejaculation, as the term implies, occurs when a man reaches orgasm too early, thus being unable to satisfy himself and his partner sexually. In severe cases, as in Kapur's, premature ejaculation can occur even before penetration or during foreplay. As Kapur says, "Our sex sessions were all about me saying sorry and her trying to comfort me."

Premature ejaculation can also be the result of extreme arousal, but in such cases, the problem is temporary as the man grows more experienced and sexually skilled and learns to control his ejaculatory urges. However, this is not to say that merely having more sex will teach you how to prevent premature ejaculation. The prevention of premature ejaculation is what psychologists call 'learned behavior' and can only come about with some amount of training and self-discipline.

The first thing to do to prevent premature ejaculation is to see a sexual therapist or a urologist who will discuss various remedial measures and options. According to various studies, therapy often helps couples overcome their hesitation when it comes to talking about their sexual problems and needs. "A lot of men," says Tamara, "Equate premature ejaculation with being less manly and are afraid of social ridicule and rejection if they confess that they have this problem."

As an example, she cites the case of a client who had been married for three years and still felt awkward discussing alternative sexual methods with his wife. "Obviously, the thing to do for him was to get his wife so aroused that she climaxed early enough for him not to feel guilty about reaching orgasm too soon, but he felt shy about discussing oral sex techniques with her and wasn't sure how she would take it," says Tamara.

This is not commonplace behavior, but it does happen between quite a few couples. In such cases, therapy is vital, because it helps them overcome the shyness or awkwardness that they may feel about openly discussing the matter. The trick is to learn how to enjoy physical contact without intercourse and how to achieve orgasm and thus prevent premature ejaculation through these techniques.

There are, of course, other ways to prevent premature ejaculation, like taking prescription antidepressants, applying local anesthetic creams and ointments to desensitize the penis, and using techniques like the Masters & Johnson method, and the stop and start method. However, the key is to remember that once you gain control over your mind, you have won half the battle.

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