Baby Clothes Louder Than The Baby

By:Catherine Harvey

What is it with people making a mockery of their kids these days? Anything that makes them look ridiculous, from the funny baby t-shirts to the weird haircuts and plain silly names, anything that draws attention to their child will suffice. Even if others are laughing at them rather than with them, they don't mind. Apparently all publicity is good publicity.

Whatever happened to babies being clean and tidy to be taken out in public? What's wrong with these old fashioned ideas? Why do we have to see them adorned in so many colours with slogans splashed all over funny baby t-shirts? They look like buckets of vomit rather than the cute little bundles of joy they're supposed to be.

And have you noticed that babies are getting louder? Remember the days when a baby would be in a position where it could see its mother, wrapped up in soft baby blankets all cute curls and clean smiles. There is no such thing these days.

Today you will see babies in luminous plastic buggies at car exhaust height dressed in buckets of puke that their parents pass off as funny baby t-shirts with their mouths wide open in a desperate bid to be heard above their t-shirts!

Celebrities are the main instigators in this fashion for drawing attention to their offspring in the weirdest ways. Michael Jackson may well have thought that his children were disguised in veils but how many children do you see normally dressed like that? They were never going to blend into the background now were they?

Another well know celebrity was seen out and about with her baby who must have been paid to advertise the Burberry brand. From the buggy to the sunshade to the baby bag to the baby clothes, from her clothes probably right down to her baby's nappy, all were the signature beige tartan of Burberry. Sad, but true. However, she did have the excuse of bordering on being a chav.

The only thing separating this celebrity from your average high street chav was her bank balance. Unfortunately, money cannot buy you good taste.

Take a walk round Basildon shopping precinct and you will see funny baby t-shirts galore. Simple slogans that the fifteen year old mothers can read, some that are even so funny they interact with their friends funny baby t-shirts. You know the sort - 'I'm with stupid', that sort of thing. Oh, bring on the Burberry, please!

Scientific research suggests that babies who are consistently dressed in funny baby t-shirts will grow up to be emotionally insecure due to people constantly pointing and laughing at them. They will also suffer hearing defects due to the loudness of their clothes and often require surgery for dislocated jaws where they have been trying to shout above them.

Statistics show that a staggering forty nine per cent of children forced to wear comedy clothes will grow up to be clinically depressed, a further nineteen per cent will run away with the circus and become clowns, seventeen per cent will become clinical psychologists in a bid to understand what made them that way and the remaining fifteen per cent will become estate agents (unofficial figures). To avoid cases of child cruelty being brought against you in later years, I suggest you avoid the trend for anything that will draw undue attention to your child.

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Child care expert Catherine Harvey looks at the trend for funny baby t-shirts by mothers today.

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