|
Home / Personal Development
Self-Growth: Building Character And Integrity
By:Wendy Betterini
It's been said that character is defined by what you do when you think no one is watching. What an illuminating concept that is.
Most of us have a public face and a private face. There are parts of ourselves we don't want the world to see. Typically, we tend to hide the aspects that would not be viewed favorably by society. Greed, lust, jealousy, pettiness, fear and so on. We also tend to hide our weaknesses. No one needs to know that we can wolf down a gallon of ice cream in an hour, do they? ;-)
I think most people are "good" at their core; decent, loving, compassionate and kind. However, even those we perceive to be good people are capable of unspeakable acts. How many times have you heard a convicted murderer's family member or friend say, "I just can't believe he would be capable of something like that. It's so unlike him." The killer projected one identity to the world, while secretly he was someone else entirely.
Okay, most of us are not murderers. Yet, even those of us who would be considered "good people" often think nothing of stealing, cheating on our spouses, or worse. What does that say about our character? Is it wrong only if we get caught?
How many times have you done something that you probably wouldn't have done if others had been there to see it? Would you feel embarrassed if these things were brought to public awareness? Did you act on your impulses only because you felt sure no one would ever find out?
I've been thinking a lot about the concept of "sin" lately. What is sin exactly? In the Christian religion, sin refers to that which displeases (or dishonors) God. The Ten Commandments warn us against adultery, theft, murder and more. Supposedly if you follow that list, you will remain in God's good graces.
In some earth religions, there is only one commandment: Harm None; which basically covers all angles in two words. Do nothing that would cause harm to yourself or another. Seems simple enough.
Yet, in both of these examples there are gray areas, aren't there? Sometimes it's hard to tell what's right or wrong. If we find money on the street and pick it up, is that stealing? Does it make a difference if it was $5.00 or $500.00? If we lie to protect someone's feelings, is that wrong? If we take some paper clips home from the office, is that stealing? Does it "harm" the company, really? If we flirt with someone other than our spouse, or fantasize about them, is that cheating? Or is cheating only the physical act of sexual intercourse?
In situations like these, how do we know the right course of action? How do we balance integrity with our impulses and desires? I think it can help to examine your motives and the possible consequences. What is your intent in this situation? What do you hope to gain from it? Could your actions harm another, or yourself? If your actions became public knowledge, would you be okay with that?
Maybe some of you are rolling your eyes at me right now, thinking, "What's the big deal? So what if I take a few things from work, or cheat on my wife? What they don't know won't hurt them." That may be true, but doesn't it hurt you in the long run? Don't those actions detract from the kind of person you are? Don't they dim your inner light? If it's true that we are all connected, then isn't it also true that harming another means harming ourselves? By disrespecting others, we disrespect ourselves and God.
Personally, I don't believe that God is angry and judgmental, sitting up in the clouds waiting to cast us into the pits of Hell for our transgressions. I do believe there will be a final "review" of our lives, and we will have to answer for the things we've done. But I think we will be our own judges. In the deepest part of ourselves, we know right from wrong.
We're not perfect, and no one is expecting us to be. We all make mistakes and do things we are later ashamed of. We are human, after all. But there is a big difference between making a mistake, and purposely doing something we know is wrong. We may try to fool ourselves at times and justify our actions. Maybe your husband doesn't pay attention to you, so you try to convince yourself that it's okay to have an affair with a man who does. Or your employer gives you a crappy raise, so you decide to make up for it in other ways, like stealing supplies or fudging your time sheet. They asked for it, right? You certainly have the right to do these things, and probably no one will stop you. Our greatest gift in life is Free Will. Unfortunately, it is also often our greatest curse. There are always consequences to our actions, whether they come now or later.
In the end, it's all a matter of personal accountability. Do we want to be a person of character, or not? It doesn't matter if we get caught or not. What matters is that we are defined by our actions. If I take something that doesn't belong to me, I am a thief. If I cheat on my spouse, I am an adultress. If I don't want to get caught, I probably shouldn't do these things in the first place. The truth has a way of making itself known.
Digg
del.icio.us
Blink
Stumble
Spurl
Reddit
Netscape
Furl
Article keywords: positive thinking, motivation, character, integrity, self growth, self improvement
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com
Wendy Betterini is a freelance writer who strives to motivate, uplift, and inspire you to make your dreams a reality. Visit her website, www.WingsForTheHeart.com for more positive thoughts to help you on your journey.
|
|
| Top Personal Development Articles |
- 1). What To Do When Your Fears And Worries Overwhelm You By : Stan Popovich
What do you do when your worries and anxieties overwhelm you? Here is a brief list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their worries and anxieties.
Sometimes what we fear may happen can be overly exaggerated. A lot of times, our worrying can make the problem even worse. Remember that all the worrying in the world will not change anything.
|
- 2). Stuttering And Stammering Speech Impediment By : blueboy
Stammering or as it is sometimes known as stuttering is a form of speech impediment.
My name is Stephen Hill and I had a stammer for eighteen years. I went to various types of speech therapy which even though was of some use, never really offered me any hope of a "cure".
At the age of twenty two, after a lot of hard work I managed to overcome the stammer and I now help other people to achieve fluency.
|
- 3). The first 14 dominant laws of the subconscious mind By : Emmanuel Segui
Copyright 2006 Emmanuel Segui
The subconscious mind is fascinating and intriguing. Yet, it is challenging to understand how it works so you can use its full power solve our problems and enhance every aspect of your life.
Here are the difficult principles of the subconscious mind made very easy so you can apply them in your life today and see results tomorrow.
|
- 4). Stop Fear Now By : Denton Krypps
I'm convinced that fear is one of the worst things in life. Think about all of the negative ways that fear affects your life. Think about all of the decisions you make or do not make because of fear in your life. Or think about the risks that you do not take or the relationships you do not pursue because of fear. You would do well to take a good look at the fears in your life and to attempt to tackle them head first until they are no longer fears.
|
|
|
- 6). Avoiding Your Persistent Fears Will Not Make Them Go Away By : Stan Popovich
Your fears, anxieties, and other problems have the best of you and you don’t know where to turn for help. At some point you feel totally helpless as you struggle each day. What do you do?
As a layman and an author of a Managing Fear book, there were times that my fears had the best of me. Through these experiences, there is one thing that I learned.
|
- 7). Success After Failure - Even Genghis Khan Lost Some Early Battles By : John Watson
Both the worst and the best of the great achievers had the belief in themselves and the resilience to overcome early failures. One of these was none other than Genghis Khan. There are powerful lessons we can learn from him.
In 1162 a child, called Temujin, was born in Mongolia clutching a blood clot - a sign that he was destined to be a great warrior.
|
- 8). Crisis Management: The Most Basic Of Needs By : Sandy Baker
Crisis management is something that every individual needs to consider. Whether you are preparing yourself for a crisis situation or if you are responsible for a school full of children, it is necessary to be prepared. There are excellent resources to help you do this and it also helps to take a good look at your individual situation. There are many types of crisis management situations and we will discuss that here.
|
- 9). Being the Mountain By : Judy Ringer
As I hiked up the path to the Peaceful Valley Chapel, I relished the quiet of my early morning solitude. After many years as a participant and assistant instructor at Thomas Crum's Journey To Center Program, this beautiful and energizing ten-minute hike had become a personal ritual. Each morning of each Journey to Center week, before our breathing and meditation session at 7, I always hike to the top of this small mountain to be inspired by the view of a much higher mountain range in the distance.
|
- 10). What Causes People To Develop A Speech Impediment? By : blueboy
I am one of many people who are unfortunate enough to develop a speech impediment in childhood. This article describes why these impediments may occur and how I went about achieving fluency. For the purpose of this article, I concentrate on the speech impediment known as stuttering.
There are many reasons why people may develop a stutter, it can be.
|
| New Personal Development Articles |
- 1). Achieve Emotional Freedom By : ian Williamson
Emotional Freedom Techniques, or EFT as it is most commonly known, is probably the most popular of a group of techniques collectively referred to as Energy Psychology (EP)
|
|
|
- 3). Are You Really Making Decisions? By : Garry Zancanaro
There is a massive difference between hoping and wishing for success, happiness, self improvement, or that something will change in our lives, and actively deciding to make changes to our lives.
|
- 4). Why Self Improvement Is Important - Part 1 By : Garry Zancanaro
An alarming percentage of people spend most of what they earn and many also have large debts. They are often no more that a few paydays away from bankruptcy and have little, if anything, put aside for emergencies, much less for a comfortable retirement.
|
|
|
- 6). Dealing With Frustration By : Garry Zancanaro
We all suffer from frustration, and being able to effectively deal with frustration is a very important skill to develop. It can be a decisive factor between success and failure.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
- 10). To Move Forward You Have To Be Able To Bounce Back! By : Garry Zancanaro
Successful people are also disappointed and affected by setbacks, and certainly get knocked down more often than most, if only because they try more things. This may happen not once or twice, but dozens or even hundreds of times. But successful people refuse to stay down - because they are resilient and will not be denied their dreams and goals.
|
|
|
