WELCOME TO WITCHVILLE - Humor Article

By:Victoria Elizabeth

Copyright by Victoria Elizabeth 2004. All rights reserved.
WELCOME TO WITCHVILLE
(Home of Scream Cuisine & Other Stuff)
Living in Victoria, BC (Canada) has a few perks.
Second to Salem, Massachusetts (the world capital of witchcraft), Victoria, BC is Canada's "most haunted house city".
This "California-North", left-coast, cosy community with the unique distinction of being dubbed Canada's "garden city", it also has something else strange going for it.
According to the most recent Canadian census,it seems that Victoria has the largest per-capita witch population in the country. In fact, more than 1,000 folks filled out a form declaring themselves truly "out-of-broomstick the-closet"! However, more optimistic estimates, by the local pagan and witch community, put this figure closer to 5,000!
Even though Statistics Canada has stated that paganism is the fastest- growing religion in the country, Victoria has earned the novel title of being one of the few places in the country where witches can legally marry, wear witch attire in public, (and die) in grace.
So what makes Victoria such a "happening Halloween place" all-year round?
Some have said, it is Victoria's strategic location on the San Andreas fault line. (The "energy of the place" makes it a great spot for those who like to feel the earth tremble beneath their web-feet -- it also rains here).
Other's say it has to do with the ocean (and perhaps far too many seagulls leaving their telltale signs behind to guide the ghosts around at all hours of day and night).
But most scientists agree, it probably has something to do with the very strange sort of people who live here (namely a high proportion of hot-air politicians, and alternative lifestylers who enjoy wearing point-black hats, hob-nailed hiking boots, and riding recycled broomsticks to work in Beacon Hill Park (a place where pentagrams can be worn openly without anyone batting an eye).
But hold on now -- there’s something missing. After all, what would Halloween be without a little “scream cuisine”?
After checking out the 1,940 websites devoted to goblin gourmet and other ghoulish goodies, there are oodles of things to whet the whistle and appetite of the hobgoblins and ghosts in your neighborhood.
Main Course:
-- Cervelle de Canut (Silkweaver’s Brain – an herbed cheese from Lyon, France)
-- Cheesy Apple Fangs
-- Cheese & Olive Fingers
-- Crispy Bat’s Wings with Mushy Green Mash
-- Goosebump Gravy
-- Ghoulish Gruel
-- Halloween Vegetarian Chili
-- Spider Web Party Dip
-- The Devil’s Salsa & Tortilla Spikes
Drinks:
-- Black Widow Fizz
-- Bloody Marys
-- Blue Witches’ Brew (...ha-ha)
-- Cranberry Blood-Curdling Brew
-- Pina Ghoulada
Dessert:
-- Banana Ghouls
-- Black Cat Cupcakes
-- Ghoulish Petites Fours (courtesy of Martha Stewart)
-- Ghoulish Gooey Bars
-- Langues de chat (Cat’s Tongues – a French Sugar Cookie)
-- Orange Ooze Cupcakes
-- Spooky Spider Cake
However, should a wisecracking whippet like George Bush Sr. kick up a fuss at your Halloween Feast Table by stamping his feet and shouting, “I’m President of the United States, and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli!” …fear not.
Gently remind the offending soul about Hannibal Lecter’s fondness for food and unpalatable friends, “I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti”, (from the 1991 film, "The Silence of the Lambs").
Now the real question is … who knows what delicious delights wait to be devoured and by whom at your Halloween party!
Oh, and the thought of eating frogs eyes, and pickled pigs toes doesn't grab you...why not visit Victoria and enjoy the "Ghosts of Victoria Festival" -- a great way to kick back with lots of other weird and wonderful folk like you!

About the Author

Victoria Elizabeth, is a saucy scribe who muses about Life, the Universe and Everything In-Between through the pages of "The Quipping Queen" (http://www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com)

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