|
Home / Relationships
Emotional Infidelity in a Relationship: What is Emotional Cheating?
By:Tameka Norris
People define cheating differently. Some people define it as an emotional act as well as a physical act and others just define it as a physical act.
That topic alone can cause some issues in a relationship if both parties define cheating differently.
So, in order to eliminate obstacles that may later come into play it's always best to make certain you know how the other person in the relationship defines something like that.
Although it's not pertinent that couples are exactly alike, there are obviously some important areas in a relationship which help uplift it rather than hinder it. And this type of topic can be one of those things.
Truthfully, I believe that it's difficult to keep the romance alive and a relationship on a positive note if you're unable to work in unity with your spouse. Especially if one of you defines cheating in one way and the other defines cheating in another way.
Usually, physical cheating is what we all refer to as cheating. It's a general consensus, so it's emotional cheating that can be the real culprit behind ruining a great relationship.
So we'll talk a bit about that today.
What Exactly is Emotional Cheating?
Well there are different levels of emotional cheating, but let's discuss the most significant forms of emotional cheating...
1) Lying by Omission
Some women consider cheating to be a secret that is kept from them. For instance, their spouse has a dinner date with another woman, but doesn't bother to mention it.
Whether this situation is considered cheating depends on the relationship you have with your partner and the type of friendships you have outside of your partnership.
Since the pendulum can swing either way it's best to make certain you both see eye-to-eye before it ever happens (if it ever does). Maybe you don't think it's important to mention it because it doesn't mean anything and mentioning it would give it more weight than it's worth, but it's best not to assume something like that but to talk it over instead.
The reason for that is because, on the contrary, some women feel that if it was so unimportant, then why not just mention it. It's a catch-22 situation. So, a constructive way to handle a circumstance like that it to discuss it with one another before it ever has a chance to occur.
2) The "Roaming Eye"
When I speak of the "roaming eye" I mean visual disrespect to your partner. Acknowledging someone's beauty is one thing, but the "roaming eye" is a much more intense act.
It's beyond acknowledgement. In a situation like that, fantasy creeps in and your partner feels mistreated or upset due to the act of disregarding her and making it clear you would like to have sex with the person in your sights.
Under those conditions, it can turn into a huge problem for the relationship. Of course, it's one thing to notice someone's beauty from time to time, but the "roaming eye" is another thing altogether. It can lead to insecurity issues, trust issues, and sometimes result in actual physical cheating.
So exactly what is the "roaming eye?"
Although I couldn't possibly mention everything, let's talk about the more obvious actions...
The "roaming eye" constitutes going to strip clubs, ogling women in the street, and commenting can also be a part of the issue in which verbal insinuations are made concerning what you would like to do with that person. Taken too far, it can be emotionally abusive to your partner and result in a destructive relationship that could eventually lead you both in separate directions.
So, a constructive way to handle this situation on a personal basis, is to treat any woman like you would want someone to treat your wife, sister, mother, or any other female that you regard with the highest respect.
Of course, it isn't always going to work because you're human, but it's a good place to start.
By asking yourself, "How do I want other men to treat my partner?" can help you change the entire way you see things.
For example, someone ogling your wife in a disrespectful way is most likely something you would not take kindly to. Perhaps you'd even be infuriated if you witnessed it happening. So, if you apply those feelings to a woman that catches your eye, it makes it somewhat easier to want to treat that person with a lot more respect.
After all she is someone else's relative. Obviously not yours, but someone's.
3) Physical Contact
This type of emotional cheating occurs when you go to strip clubs and receive lap dances or some other similar type of contact from the opposite sex.
As a man, you may not consider this as cheating, but your partner may. As a result, this induces conflict in the relationship in which your partner feels betrayed and you feel as if you didn't do anything wrong.
If this does occur, a constructive way to handle this is to put yourself in your partner's shoes or put your partner in the stripper's shoes.
For example, would you want her in a male strip club receiving lap dances? Or would you want your wife in front of other men stripping and giving other men lap dances?
Chances are good the answer is "no." If you reverse the situation, it's easy enough to look at it constructively so that the two of you can work on resolving the issue by basing it on the old saying, "treat others the way you want (your wife) to be treated."
Be objective, be honest, and most of all... be fair. Work hard at trying not to give yourself extra privileges you wouldn't give your spouse. Make it your responsibility to be considerate to other women just as you would want another man to be considerate to your wife.
You're no exception to the rule.
Work Together in Unity
Since this issue is such a big one, it's important to sit down with one another and discuss why it's happening if you aren't in agreement about your actions, because a great relationship is built on unity between a man and woman and if there isn't any unity... it will lead to a lot of problems.
As a man, some of the distraction you're fighting against is biological which is often due to visual stimuli which you can't help. But that doesn't mean the promotion of that behavior is necessarily right. It's one thing to have a natural response to something like that, but it's another thing to use that natural response to benefit you in continuing on in that behavior.
An important thing to do is to make certain that excuses on either end aren't being made. Excuses and denial don't resolve anything. Serious situations like that require both parties to own up to their faults.
Pride should be left at the back door, so your relationship doesn't take a beating because of it. Avoid treating it like a game of matching pride against pride.
To eliminate pride in the beginning, you may find it a good idea to talk about how you want to handle the discussion on each end before you bring up the conversation.
Consider saying something like...
"I wanted to talk to you about something, but before I bring it up, I thought maybe we could talk about how we want to handle this conversation, because I don't want anything getting in the way of us resolving it. I know sometimes I can be stubborn, so I feel it's important for me to say that when we discuss this I don't plan on allowing that to interfere with us fixing this situation."
When confronting it like that, it allows the problem to take the forefront so that when you do end up discussing it, it makes it easier for you both to stay focused on the topic at hand and keep it on a positive note.
You can then discuss it in layers by trying to explain why you do what you do (besides the obvious reasons) and she can explain how it makes her feel and then you can both focus on how to resolve the issue together--in unity.
It's easy to feel that emotional cheating doesn't hurt anyone, because in certain ways it can be defined as an invisible act, but don't underestimate the damage that it can have on a relationship. It can do just as much damage as its lethal counterpart "physical cheating."
Sure, there may not be any touching involved, but infidelity is not just a physical act. Remember, be objective, be honest, and most of all... be fair. You are no exception to the rule.
Work hard at being faithful to your partner in more ways than one--mind and body.
Digg
del.icio.us
Blink
Stumble
Spurl
Reddit
Netscape
Furl
Article keywords: cheating, emotional, problems, relationships, infidelity, adultery
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com
Tameka Norris is the founder of Romantic Short Love Stories. Offering the best of both worlds with true love stories, romantic fiction, love poetry, articles, tutorials, and relationship advice. Visit Romantic-Short-Love-Stories.com
|
|
| Top Relationships Articles |
- 1). Nurturing friendships By : CD Mohatta
When we plant a tree, we take care of that plant from the smallest stage of growth. We not only nurture that plant with water, air and fertilizers, but also protect it from any damage. Friendship is one such plant. One has to take care of friends, as one takes care of the plants, one grows.
Most of us take friendship for granted. We believe that friends are always there, whenever we need them.
|
|
|
- 3). Body Language Secrets You Should Know By : Royane Real
Even when you don’t say a word, other people can still learn a lot about what kind of person you are and what you are thinking and feeling.
How do other people do this? By studying your body language.
The term body language refers to the messages you send out with your body gestures and facial expressions.
Some body language experts claim that only about 7% of our messages to other people are communicated through the words we speak.
|
- 4). How To Make A Relationship Last? By : CD Mohatta
For a relationship to last, there are few basic requirements. The rapidity with which relationships are breaking in the modern days is a matter of concern and we should try to find out how to make a relationship that lasts for a long time. The major factors that affect the survival of a relationship are as below -
Selection Of Partner - Sometimes, our selection of partner may be wrong.
|
- 5). Happy Friendship By : CD Mohatta
How to have happy friends? This is a very important question. Who likes friends who don't smile and laugh? Who enjoys meeting friends who look serious? Not any one of us.
What about ourselves? Do we make happy friendships? Do we make our friends happy? Before thinking about others, wouldn't it be better if we first analyze our own selves? Do we smile.
|
- 6). Tips In Solving Relationship Problems By : Dana Goldberg
It can not be denied that relationships have been considered as the source of a loving relationship that is full of support, enthusiasm and pleasure, whether the relationship is in the family or to somebody you are intimately in love with. And we would like to experience such a relationship to last until death. Hence, we exert so much effort in order to nurture and to make it perfect if possible.
|
- 7). How well do you know your own eyes? By : Pradeep Aggarwal
A quote
The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories that it has become to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet in this way that love begins and in this way only. The rest is only the rest, and comes afterwards. Nothing is more real than these great shocks, which two souls give each other in exchanging this spark.
|
|
|
|
|
- 10). Erotic Hypnosis By : Abbas Abedi
A Little Romance Can Enhance Your Love Life
Nothing can enhance your love life better than a little romance. Enhancing your love life is something that every long term relationship eventually requires. Sooner or later your love life will be affected by the regular stresses of everyday life and many other factors that may make your love life seem lacking.
|
| New Relationships Articles |
|
|
|
|
|
|
- 4). 99 Days Left Until the NFL and Love Kickoff - Are You Ready By : Jaci Rae
With pre-season here and the NFL kickoff around the corner many men and women will have their love life tested. How will they survive? Jaci Rae, author of Winning Points with the Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time - How to Score for Men and Women has the answers.
|
- 5). How Relationship Disagreements Can Make You Closer By : Donna LeBlanc
If you are like me, you’ve found yourself standing in the aftermath of a firestorm called a fight. You feel burned, damaged. Bitterness has taken root. Your heart, once open, is now closed—protected behind armor so you can’t be hurt again. Although you bury the pain, it smolders like a burning ember and pollutes your love or marriage relationship forever.
|
|
|
- 7). Pheromones To Attract Man By : Peter Vermeeren
Male Female Attraction through Pheromones
The only way the lower living beings like ants, butterflies, birds, dogs or even a tiger can communicate is through pheromones. The pheromones are the way they communicate as they cannot communicate through oral or written word. The communication starts when the particular species it at its very best to procreate and ends when the species is not in a position to attract the opposite sex.
|
- 8). Friendship Test- Do Friends Love Talking To You? By : CD Mohatta
You must be having a large group of friends. You also deal with many people in your job or business. You interact with people at every stage of your life. Do you find that you love talking to one person and avoid talking to another? You must have noticed that. What is the difference between these two persons? Why do you enjoy talking to one of them and avoid talking to another? What about yourself? Have you thought about that?
We enjoy talking to people who have the following qualities -
Listening - Good communicators are good listeners.
|
- 9). Relationship Test - Are You Continuing Without Pleasure? By : CD Mohatta
A relationship should be like a flowing river. Fresh, moving around and finding ways around obstacles. Enjoying a relationship should never be like a still pond of water that just exists. A relationship should have life and should never be a compromise.
But many relationships become like a pond. They began like river but are now stationary wondering where to go, and whether to exist at all.
|
- 10). Relationship Test - Are You Happier Being Alone? By : CD Mohatta
Many of us are of the types who are happy being alone. If such persons enter into any relationship it will invariably fail. Such loners want to be left alone and want no responsibility of others nor want others to take any responsibility of their. Are you one of them? Have you thought about this? Let us find out more.
What are the main characteristics of such people? The first is total independence.
|
|
|
