Why Do Women Cheat? – An Update

By:Steve Roberts

I’ve received some relevant critique to my original article, “Why Do Women Cheat?” This critique falls into two categories: men’s experience with a single woman cheating with many others, or men’s experience with a number of relationships where it seems the women always cheat on them.

These are legitimate critiques that I didn’t originally speak about. One of the reasons I didn’t mention them is because the incidence of these experiences is much less frequent than these men think. We tend to judge the world on the basis of our own experience. We think that since we’ve experienced it in a particular way that it is fairly common. Sometimes, this is true, but not always.

1. So,what is going on when a woman, married or in a serious relationship, has sexual encounters with many men (or even women)? One man stated he learned a little at a time that his wife had “made it” with almost everyone he knew.

Most often we might want to call it poor morals, anger and revenge, or just an insatiable sexual desire. While there is some truth here, I would turn to the fairly obvious obsessive-compulsiveness exhibited. There is some kind of mental issue going on.

We might well speak of it as a relationship or sexual addiction. An addiction is a form of compulsion that leads one to do something repeatedly that is quite injurious to the self or others. Most often in these cases the woman is receiving some kind of brief experience of wholeness, completeness or sense of total love. In reality, it is a behavior of unconsciously escaping from the void or emptiness she experiences inside. The experience is one of fantasy thatends in pain.

So, is it just poor morals, or a compulsive, addictive pattern that needs to be addressed?. I lean toward the latter.

2. When a man repeatedly finds himself in relationships to women who cheat on him, it usually does not mean that all women cheat. It usually means that he is unconsciously attracted to women who will cheat.

How can this be? We have many theories, but no actual proof as to why these patterns repeat. However, we see it all the time. People go from relationship to relationship, each time thinking the partner is quite different from the last, but finding in the end that there are some curious similarities.

The way I see it is that we are almost always attracted to the same personality pattern. But if we continue to grow personally, we tend to pick a healthier version of it each time. That’s the hope for the future, not that we will change the pattern that we are attracted to, but that we will be attracted to a healthier version of it.

Does this cover all the possibilities of women cheating? Certainly not. Everyone is an individual, and every relationship has its own individuality. There will be as many different stories as there are people. However, if we stick to the main tenants of respect, fidelity, emotional intimacy, and commitment, we will find the odds are greatly in our favor of having a successful relationship.

Digg del.icio.us Blink Stumble Spurl Reddit Netscape Furl

Article keywords: Relationship Advice, Women, Affair, Cheating, Sex, Extramarital Affair, Sex Addiction

Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com

Steve Roberts is an experienced Marriage and Family Therapist who shares tips and real life relationship secrets from over 20 years of practice.
Get Insight and Wisdom for your Relationships at: www.WhatWorksForCouples.com

Top Marriage Articles
1). Marriage Quiz By : CD Mohatta To raise questions about your marriage and relationship and try to find answers is a very helpful exercise. It reveals quite a lot about the present state of affairs and gives hint about what corrective action can be taken to make the marriage stronger. One should not take the marriage and the relationship for granted but keep on quizzing about how it is going.
2). New Body Language secrets By : ameritor If you've ever wondered about the validity of body language analysis, here is something new and exciting to ponder. Though we may be aware of body language, and be able to fake different positions to fool onlookers, this is not possible when we are asleep. At night, our body naturally and involuntarily adopts the position that feels the most natural.
3). Swinger Couples By : swingers Swinging, also called the alternative or 'alt' lifestyle, seems to be increasingly popular among mainstream, middle-aged married couples in America. With this increasing number of people who are into the lifestyle there is also a growing need for interactive ways to meet similar thinking couples. They find the internet to be the ultimate way to interaction.
4). Angered By An Affair By : Keishia Lee-Louis Ask the Marriage Maven: Angered by an Affair Q. About a year ago, my husband had an affair with someone we both knew. It happened while I was pregnant. He said it would never happen again, but I’m not so sure. She’s still in and out of our social circles. I want to try to work things out, but every time I think about it, it makes me sick. The sad thing is that we’ve been married less than three years.
5). Romance And Happy Marriage Myths By : Rene Graeber The institution of marriage is surrounded by a number of myths, stories and advice freely offered by people on a daily basis. Unfortunately, many people listen to and believe these pieces of so-called wisdom to the point where it doesn’t help their marriage and it only hinders its growth. Many of the myths regarding relationships are incredibly damaging and it is unfortunate that they are such common beliefs.
6). Marriage Should not be a Compromise By : Ken Snowie Everyone has heard the old adage that marriage is all about compromise. That should not always be the case, though! Every issue should not be about compromise or your marriage will seem like a constant business negotiation, and someone will always feel slightly cheated. This can lead to resentment and bitterness. While many issues in marriage do require a great deal of compromise, sometimes you should just give in.
7). Why Do Women Cheat? – An Update By : Steve Roberts I’ve received some relevant critique to my original article, “Why Do Women Cheat?” This critique falls into two categories: men’s experience with a single woman cheating with many others, or men’s experience with a number of relationships where it seems the women always cheat on them.
8). Cheating Husband or Wife: 6 Keys to Know if You are Ready to Handle What You Might Find When You Spy By : Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach When you spy on your suspected cheating spouse, please make sure you consider all the possibilities you might encounter and whether you can handle them. Have you considered the many situations that spying might uncover? Can you imagine the worst thing you might find? Predict what your response will be to the worst-case scenario. Are you ready? Here.
9). The Revenge Affair: Characteristics of the Adulterer By : Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach "I Want to Get Back at Him/Her" is one of 6 kinds of affairs I outline in my E-book. This is the "revenge affair." It occurs in a marriage in which one feels slighted in some manner and seeks revenge by engaging in an affair. It is less a movement toward the other person and more a movement away from one’s spouse. The offending spouse usually lacks the skills of personal confrontation or is frightened by the prospect of someone "getting upset.
10). Why Most Marriages Fail By : Gerald McNicholl Roughly 50% of all marriages fail and many of those don’t even make it past the first year. Understanding why marriages fail can be key to ensuring that your own marriage does not.

New Marriage Articles
1). Getting onto the Playing Field of Love By : Jaci Rae The playing field of love. How to stay on the field and off the bench without season ending injuries. Jaci Rae - The Rae of Hope - Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life One Touchdown at a Time and The Indie Guide to Music, Marketing and Money
2). Planning for Your Financial Future By : Nathan Dawson Two heads are better than one, so sit down with your spouse and plan out your financial future together. Prioritize your bills.
3). How I Improved My Marriage Ten-Fold In One Evening By : Beth Young This article discusses practical ways to resolve conflict within a marriage. By applying these communication steps, you will discover how you can change your marriage in one evening. It will take practice, but with time, you will discover that your marriage has improved more than ten-fold.
4). Secrets For A Wonderful Start To Your Marriage By : Mark Webb All marriages need to get off to a great start. Specifics for couples, young and old, to ensure their marital success.
5). The History Behind Traditional Anniversay Gifts By : Charlie Welf Nobody can say with any amount of certainty when the tradition of giving anniversary gifts started. Most probably it evolved over time. Traditionally, each wedding anniversary is celebrated by giving a gift made from a different material
6). Glad To Be Married By : Scott Bianchi I am glad to be married. I have been married for almost 8 years and together with my wife for a total of 12 years. As you can see it has been a long time since I have been on a date and I couldn’t be more thankful. I found dating to be difficult back when I was doing it, now there are so many more dimensions to dating, it must be even more of a challenge.
7). Marriage - Are You Facing Emotional Abuse? By : CD Mohatta Those who have control and power can inflict emotional abuse. It is as bad as physical abuse. Some people call emotional abuse as worse than physical abuse. Let us discuss about emotional abuse. Emotional abuse may leave deep scars on the psyche. In emotional abuse the perpetrator withholds all the emotional satisfaction from the victim. The self-dignity of the victim is bruised repeatedly and he/she is shown as a lesser person.
8). Engagement Rings - How To... By : Roy Dietelzieg Even thought buying a diamond engagement ring is the same as buying any other engagement ring, there are a few things you should think about before you step into the shop and let the experienced salesperson talk you into paying your last 3 months of hard work away. One thing is sure. You made up your mind, you are going to ask the big question, you got the night all planned in your head… but you still need a ring to seal the deal.
9). Marriage - How To Avoid Work Stress Hurt Your Marriage? By : CD Mohatta Work stress plays a very major role in hurting married life. Most of the men and women bring their stress home and play havoc with their married life. The stress spills over at home and creates further stress. Home should be used to dissolve the work stress. Home should be the place to relax and get comfort. Home should be the place where we get rid of the stress that we bring from outside.
10). Simple Steps Can Create A Solid Marriage By : JM Jackson Issues that arise in marriages can be very complicated. Few issues are simple. There are, however some very simple ways to keep your relationship positive and help you work your way through a lot of difficult situations. Use these 7 tips to help you continue to nurture a positive relationship. 1. If you want your marriage healthy and positive, you have to really want to keep it that way.