|
Home / Technology
Link Romantic Feelings To The Sight Of Your Face
By:Marguerite Bonneville
Anchoring is an NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) term used to describe the mind’s tendency to associate two unrelated events or experiences, especially when a strong emotion is present.
For example, if your mother fed you chicken soup when you were ill as a child, you will always associate chicken soup to being loved and cared for.
On the down side, if you once contracted food poisoning from eating tainted pickles, just the smell of pickles will be enough to bring on a feeling of nausea many years after the event.
How does anchoring work in relationships?
If you come home from work elated by a promotion and see your lover’s face, you will link that feeling of elation to the sight of his or her face. By the same token, if you hate your job and constantly talk about those feelings over dinner with your spouse, you'll unconsciously begin to associate the bad feelings with him or her.
In that case, you must make a conscious effort to share more good times with them so you will more readily associate positive feelings to the sight of their face.
Sharing good times creates positive anchors or associations. It helps you to weather the less positive times that every couple experiences at some stage in their relationship.
Breaking up is often the result of linking too many negative anchors to the sight of your partner’s face, with no knowledge of how to counteract them by deliberately creating positive ones.
Here’s a common example. A young doctor whose wife works to help him through medical school may decide to divorce her after he graduates. This is because he associates the sight of her face to the hard times they experienced during those years. Of course this is all unconscious – all he knows is that he feels bad whenever he looks at her. He mistakenly takes this as a sign that the relationship isn’t working.
Now that you know how anchoring works, use it intentionally to improve your relationship.
1. Plan positive events together and make sure you don’t let any negativity intrude on the event. Save arguments or disagreements for a later time.
2. During the height of an intensely positive moment you are sharing:
a. touch your loved one lightly on the knee or arm
b. squeeze the person’s hand or
c. put your arms around him or her.
The next time you repeat the same gesture with this person in some other context, it will reawaken some of those original emotions in them.
In a similar way, if you touch someone in a specific way when they are feeling sad, for example, you squeeze their shoulder or put an arm around them at a funeral, touching them later in the same way will reawaken those feelings of sadness. So be careful about what sorts of emotions you are associating to your touch, words or face.
How does this apply to gifts?
A gift is by its nature an anchor. Every time the recipient looks at the gift, they will remember the occasion when they received it, especially if they experienced strong emotions at the time.
So you can help guarantee that your gift will be a strong ongoing anchor if you make sure that you create a truly memorable experience – such as an extremely romantic evening - when you present the gift.
A woman will always remember following a trail of rose petals in her lover’s apartment to find the necklace he purchased for her birthday.
A man will always remember being presented with his own personal star by a lover dressed only in a star-patterned bra and g-string.
It’s also important to consider the opposite effect.
Never give a gift by way of apology. You don’t want to create negative anchors by giving gifts after an argument.
If you give your wife a diamond ring to apologize for the fact that she caught you cheating with your secretary, the ring will always remind her of your infidelity.
If you give your husband a new watch to apologize for crashing his BMW, he’ll remember your transgression every time he checks the time.
Even if those memories don't make it to conscious awareness, they're lurking just under the surface. It makes better sense to allow them to fade away, instead of attaching them to physical objects like gifts.
Keep things simple. A genuine apology is all that’s required after an argument. Save gifts for positive occasions.
Digg
del.icio.us
Blink
Stumble
Spurl
Reddit
Netscape
Furl
Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com
© Marguerite Bonneville
Marguerite Bonneville is a Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) whose passion is publishing information online. She is a contributing writer at http://www.romantic-gift-ideas-online.com, a resource site dedicated to helping visitors find the perfect romantic gift.
|
|
| Top Technology Articles |
- 1). Sound Proofing Techniques By : Barney Garcia
Are you frequently disturbed by different sounds entering your room while you are working or sleeping? It is then time for you to take a look into the different sound proofing techniques.
|
- 2). The Market for Used Business Phone System Equipment By : Kingston Amadan
Business phone systems and the companies who sell them exist in a world all their own. The competition is stiff, with several different retailers and wholesalers carrying the same brands. The competition for used and refurbished business phones and business phone systems is even fiercer, as many companies are searching for equipment that can be used to expand their current system.
|
|
|
- 4). Elevator Action By : James Monahan
Elevators are enclosure or platforms that are operated by cables, motors and other equipment or accessories enabling the vertical shaft to go up and down, and transport people, freight or both.
|
|
|
- 6). Pagers - How Do They Work? By : Trevor Dumbleton
How do those beeping things work that people carry around on their belts? There are several types of pagers but, basically, it’s all done by good, old- fashioned radio waves. Someone sends you a text message with a touch-tone phone – or it can also be sent by email – and the message is forwarded to the thing on your belt, which then emits a beep or vibration to tell you you’ve got a message.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| New Technology Articles |
- 1). Which Online Gaming Console Is The Best? By : Gregg Hall
Computers used to be the only way to access the internet and game online, now you can hook up most gaming consoles. Access to other gamers through the internet has brought gaming to another level, making competition for the best gaming console fierce.
|
|
|
- 3). HDTV Introduction By : DavidZ
Are you looking to buy a HDTV? Take a look at our guide to find out what HDTV is about.
1. What does HDTV stand for?
High Definition Television
2. What is HTDV?
It is a new technology and way of filming that has a higher bit depth resolution and gives you a sense or realism while watching the program. Sports are one of the leading industries in high definition programming.
|
- 4). Perform Conference Calls Without Having Prior Reservations By : Amporn Saechin
Other teleconferencing services allow subscribers to perform conference calls without having prior reservations. If you're looking for conference bridgeline services or conference recording services, I highly recommend e-Teleconferencing. Unlike other automated teleconferencing services, ReadyConference gives you a permanent dial-in number and passcode you can use any time, from anywhere - 24/7.
|
- 5). Amazing Communications By : Analeese Burnabaker
As history has progressed and technology has continued to advance, life has become full of more and more good things. Without a doubt, one of the best things that our society has gained from the advances of technology is communications.
Consider for a few moments all of the amazing forms of communications that have made your life easier and more full.
|
- 6). A Look At Cordless Phones By : Angel Estrella
Cordless phones, also known as portable telephones, use a wireless handset in order to communicate with the phone’s base, which is connected to a telephone landline. In order for cordless phones to function properly, they must be used within a specified proximity to the base. Most individuals find that they can use their cordless phones throughout the house or in the yard without interruption.
|
- 7). Send Greetings For Better Communication By : CD Mohatta
Greetings are probably as old as the civilization. People always greet each other whenever they meet or talk. A good morning, hello, how are you, how are things at your end, etc are some of the common ways to begin the conversation. A greeting in everyday life connects us better with another person. One generally does not immediately come to the subject matter without a greeting in almost all meetings.
|
- 8). Pagers - How Do They Work? By : Trevor Dumbleton
How do those beeping things work that people carry around on their belts? There are several types of pagers but, basically, it’s all done by good, old- fashioned radio waves. Someone sends you a text message with a touch-tone phone – or it can also be sent by email – and the message is forwarded to the thing on your belt, which then emits a beep or vibration to tell you you’ve got a message.
|
- 9). Palm Treo: Getting Started With Your New Treo Smartphone By : Christopher Meinck
Copyright 2006 Christopher Meinck
Getting Started With a Palm Treo Smartphone
For many, adding a Palm Treo smartphone to their life is an exciting time. Most are coming from a traditional cellphone and the capabilities of a smartphone never seize to amaze. The Palm Treo features a large color LCD screen, full keyboard and software for syncing your personal data with your PC or Mac.
|
- 10). Cheap Prepaid Calling Card - Making The Work For You By : Melissa Wayan
So most prepaid calling cards are cheap prepaid calling cards. I mean when you think about it, the calling cards really are significantly cheaper than the cost of calling from a landline. My parents pay around 20 cents a minute to call me and I have found calling cards from the United States to Venezuela for a low at 3 cents a minute. I found most of these online.
|
|
|
