Christian Marriage Counseling - Save Your Marriage

By:Sandra Stammberger

God ordained the sacrament of marriage incorporated by laws supported by Genesis 2:24; “And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.

Christian Marriage is a sacramental union between one man and one woman during their wedding ceremony often officiated by a priest. The union takes place after reciting the marriage vows by both parties leading to the creation of a lifetime and legal agreement between them supported by Matthew 19:4-6; What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.

The man and woman have given the responsibility to be co-creators building a family on their own making Christ the center of their marital relationship. The church however subjects the married couples to the legal laws of the state but it does not permits any actions leading to the destruction of the marriage vows such as annulment, separation or divorce which is contradictory to orthodox Christian beliefs.

There are four negative patterns why marriage is at risk.

- Escalation takes place when both couples collectively respond to each other negatively reaching maximum level making the conversation gets even worse. Every negative comment increases the level of anger and frustrations leading to the creation of a major fight.

- Invalidation takes place when one is attacking the the character, thoughts or feelings of his partner.

- Negative interpretations take place when one partner consistently believes that his partner’s motive is more negative than is really the case. This is a very destructive pattern quickly erasing intimacy and oneness in marriage thus creating an environment of hopelessness. Mind reading (doing it negatively) is also a negative interpretation assuming that you know what your partner is thinking or the reasons why your partner did something.

- Withdrawal and avoidance are the two separate manifestations of the problem where in a partner shows signs of unwillingness to get in or be involved in a too threatening discussion. Your partner chooses to get up leaving the room shutting down during an argument.

Marriage can be saved if the couples change these negative behavioural patterns acting as barriers ultimately leading loneliness, frustrations and isolations.

Through marriage counselling couples may restore broken relationships. This therapy enables them to regain their marital bliss.

They often seek counselling because they feel misunderstood, frustrated or deeply hurt or have a profound sense of sadness in their relationships.

It is not wrong to seek for happiness in marriage but the couple must be realistic enough of their situation. They should try to have a thorough evaluation regarding their marital status. Christian Marriage is a lifetime commitment, working it out in the best possible ways to survive every circumstance that occurs.

Christian Marriage counselling requires both partners for more effective results however a therapist might focus on only one individual if the other is not willing to be subjected on the counselling procedures. The couples should be committed to their relationships acknowledging and accepting first your feelings and second is to keep an open communication lines with your spouse, children and family.

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Article keywords: marriage, marriage counseling, save marriage

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S. Stammberger is the editor of Help
Save Marriage. Get tips and advice to save your marriage.

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