Main Menu
Articles Home
Most Popular Articles
Top Authors
Submit Articles
Submission Guidelines
Link to Us
Bookmark
Contact Us



Partners
 
Home / Humor

Catharsis and Roller Coasting

By:Kevin Murray


Being born a Floridian doesn't necessarily mean I'm genetically predisposed towards seeking refuge amongst large swarms of humanity wandering aimlessly around, taking touristy pictures while being jerked across the walkway by a 4 year old who's just seen the Grinch.
Lest you get the wrong impression of me, I'm not anti-social, demographically prejudiced or hermitic, but until recently I just simply didn't see the point of rounding up kids, cameras, extra clothing, food, more food and stuffing all in the car for a long, hot ride to a place where most of the time was spent trying to find empty lockers to stuff food, cameras, hot sweaty kids and extra clothing.
The logic arc of vacations in general is deceptively simple, I go elsewhere to get away from where I was, relax, rejuvenate then return to work twice as hard to make up for the days I was relaxing. Often, it's to the beach, woods or mountains as I find I can relax best away from computers, clients and colleagues. Occasionally we'll visit friends in other states, but nowhere in my short list of "things to do when you need a break" would one find - voluntarily go to Orlando -. It's not a slam on Orlando, pretty nice town once you're there and you mean to be, but Orlando is notorious for moving roads without telling traffic and, well, driving gets a bit like trying to cross a bed of glass, in a hurry, barefoot.
Being one of the very few Floridians left who's never been to any of the attractions in Orlando (except EPCOT, 25 years ago, and then I wasn't exactly lucid) I admit my curiosity had been piqued watching TV commercials showing flying, pistol packing soccer moms, large breasted women mammary slapping Captain America and half naked fathers and sons queuing up for roller coaster rides with names like "HULK" and "Dueling Dragons".
So it came as no little surprise when, give the opportunity, I eagerly agreed to a day trip to Universal Studios with my wife and her younger brother.
As a middle-aged, out of shape, discount card carrying member of Chiropractics-R-Us it wasn't my initial intention to ride every ride or bungee drop but, the dormant 12 year old in me woke up as soon as I saw the first Roller Coaster ... THE HULK ...
I wasn't sure whether the feeling in the pit of my stomach was one of anticipation or regret for not bringing my back brace, but by the time we got on deck I knew that it wasn't regret. Strapped in, locked down, pointed almost straight up and launched. I now know how a rock must feel as it hurtled away from my sling-shot as a child. To say the Hulk is a great roller-coaster would be like saying food is great, descriptive yes, but not fully illustrative.
The Hulk gave me the perspective I needed to understand what I'd missed all those years. That of being one of the large swarm of humanity wandering around aimlessly, taking touristy pictures.
When in Rome...

About the Author

Kevin Murray is a managing partner at visual web hosting Visual Web Hosting, a small Florida Web Design and Application development Company the focuses on content managagement solutions for the Arts and Non-Profit Organizations which, is uncomfortably situated in-line to Hurricane Alley.

Digg del.icio.us Blink Stumble Spurl Reddit Netscape Furl

Article Source: http://www.articles2k.com





Top Humor Articles
  • 2). Sun Will Only Burn For 5 Billion More Years; Humans Express Concern  By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
    We are often reminded that the sun will only shine in a way that can support life way out here on the earth for only about another five billion years. Sensing the eventuality of the cataclysm, we’re easily inclined to express our concern, along with our sympathetic distress for those far-off folks who will be standing on the earth when old Father Sol begins to turn down the heat.

  • 5). Ken Lay Explains Behavior With Poem From Childhood: "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep."  By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
    Ken Lay, the famously charming Texan from dirt-poor beginnings, who rose to be the toast of Houston before Enron, the company he founded, became toast, finally took the stand this week and, as expected, performed in his winning manner. He based his defense for the debacle that occurred under his chairmanship on a poem that he maintains has shaped his behavior since his mother first read it to him when he was just wee high to an oil pump.

  • 6). Inner Peace  By : Unknown
    By following the simple advice heard on The Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.Dr.Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace

  • 7). Hockey Summer Season; Will Be Played On Roller Skates  By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
    Professional hockey associations, long mournful of the unfortunately seasonal nature of their game, have decided to give the boys of summer a run for their money. To effect the balmy transformation, the teams will transform their footwear from ice skates to roller skates. The players are not entirely comfortable with the proposal. One star expressed concern, saying, “I’m really good on ice skates, but I never even put on a pair of roller skates.

  • 8). Just Say No To Sex  By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
    (Extended spoof, presented In 10 installments of 4 pages each. This is the second installment; previous ones are included on this site, in case you miss one.) "They all seem impressively genuine in their intentions," Dr. Coburn replied. "As young people are prone to do, they actually want to do their part to help save the world – and now they see a practical way to proceed.


New Humor Articles
  • 1). Are You Spreading Humor  By : David Hill
    My first thought upon seeing the subject, "Are you sharing humor?" was that it referred to comics or orators. After giving some thought to the subject I began to see that each one of us, at sometime or other, should share our humor.

  • 2). The Party Store  By : Matt Allen
    Every now and then I like to frequent our local liquor store to stock my bar. Our neighborhood store is nothing special, but has what I need when I need it. I have never paid a whole lot of attention to the sign as I entered the establishment. The sign clearly states that not only do they sell beer and wine, they also sell party supplies. Great. You never know when a party may break out and having a store with party supplies at your disposal is nothing but a posititve thing.

  • 3). An Efficient Commute  By : Matt Allen
    This morning, as usual, I was pressed for time. I had to be to my "9 to 5" especially early and I woke up late. Instead of rushing around more than I already had been, I thought I would take the time to finish my "getting ready for work rituals" in the car. After all, I have seen countless others in my rearview mirror and beside me in their cars do the same, so why can't I? As I grabbed my things, I raced out to the car and started on the 32-minute commute to work.

  • 4). Theory Of Evolution Challenged By French Chef; Cites Role Of Food And Wine  By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
    While The Theory of Evolution has received numerous challenges since Darwin proposed it, none seems to have taken the scientific community with such devastating surprise as the theory recently proposed by a French Chef from Bordeaux. The Chef, Andre Dumier, who operates a One Star Michelin restaurant just outside the city of Bordeaux, advanced the theory after contemplating what he considers the first requirement in the various stages of evolution – the availability of food.

  • 5). Dick Cheney Enrolls At Dale Carnegie; Updates Curriculum  By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
    Vice President Cheney, upon his return from a visit to former Soviet Bloc nations, during which he criticized Russian President Putin in unusually direct, if correct, terms, found himself suffering from shortness of breath. Hesitant about consulting a doctor immediately, he performed a self-diagnosis and realized that his condition was due primarily to putting his foot in his mouth with alarming frequency.

  • 6). Movie Stars As Sources Of Wisdom  By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
    Why do many people look to movie stars for answers to some of life's most challenging questions? While we have great respect for the art of acting, as explicated from Stanislavsky to Strasberg, the latter of whom we knew well and were fond of, we have never understood how the usual snippets who decide to become actors ascend in the minds of the public.

  • 7). Democrats Search For Platform; Find It In FDR's Basement  By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
    The Democratic Party, sensing electoral weakness in the war-ravaged Republican Party, began an intensive search for a platform that might lead to a rejuvenation of their own habitually unfocused and widely unattractive party. Apparently, they have finally grown alert to the inadequate support provided by the random planking that has been delivered to them by various political strategists – usually, they now see, not deeply resonating and indubitably ethical ideas, but hardly more than sound bytes based on evanescent hot topics.

  • 8). Oil Exploration Update: U. S. To Play Catch-Up With Cuba  By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
    Startlingly enough, it looks as if the time will soon arrive when the USA will have to play catch-up with Cuba in oil exploration. The diminutive and destitute communist enclave that serves as Fidel Castro’s personal cigar plantation now realizes that it has enough oil reserves under its coastal waters to prop up its no-go economy for decades and, incapable.

  • 10). Come Out With Your Checkbook Open  By : Tom Attea/NewsLaugh.com
    Joey, daring the spotlights that were scanning the warehouse in which he was holed up, took a quick look out the window at the crowd below, and shouted, “Never, you dirty, rotten bill collectors!” Then he ducked back to the haven beneath the sill. He recently got more into debt than usual – in fact, he found himself surrounded by it – and he was having a restless dream about the multitude of bill collectors who were haunting his mind.



 


© 2006 articles2k.com - Privacy Policy